I haven’t written anything here for a while. When I do write something it’s meaningless posts. I’m not stopping to write but for a while I have decided to only use Instagram. I would be excited if you would join me there! My account is cecilia.helin.39. Take care!


I cut my bangs myself between hair salon appointments. I think it’s a waste of money to have someone do it for you. You pay a lot for almost nothing. Or nothing………

I wanted you to see how skillfull I am when it comes to haircuts. I always cut too much! Now my bangs is half the length it should be. My hair grows fast but for a while I will look like I’ve put a bowl on my head and cut around it’s edges! Oh well.


I used to date a lot when I was younger. When I write date I mean just date not sleep around with every man I met. Now I’m single and I never wanna have a romantic relationship again. I dated much especially in the 90’s. Then there were no internet or online dating. You often met someone at a club or at a party.

I once met a man at a club me and my friends often went to. I don’t remember a lot about how we met. He probably asked me to dance and we began talking. We decided to go on a date. I don’t remember what we did on our date either but we could have had dinner or something. We didn’t drink alcohol. I remember that because of what occured next. We had our date and he told me he had a motorcycle. He didn’t use it to get to the date but we began talking about the motorcycle. He asked if I would go for a ride on it. I did. He told me to wait in town for him when he went home to get it. That’s why I remember we didn’t drink alcohol. Otherwise we wouldn’t have done it. He came back after a short while. He came with his bike and a helmet for me. We decided to go skinny dipping at a beach where I used to go during the summer. This was summer but in the evening. We went to the beach. There would just be an evening swim nothing else.

We got to the beach, parked the bike in the parking lot. The beach was a couple of minutes away. We went there and went in the water for a while. We were both fascinated with the light our movements created in the water. After this we got dressed. We went to the parking lot and………..the bike was totally stripped of everything! The wheels, engine and everything else was gone! The thiefs had left some parts. They could have taken the whole bike instead of leaving what they left. My date went hysterical. I often laugh in these situations and had to hide how hilarious I found everything about it. At this time no one had cell phones. We had to knock at the door of some random house and use their phone to call someone to pick us and the “bike” up. This was a sign of things to come. He was mentally abusing me and I left him shortly after we met. A “fun” date.

Having fun

I don’t feel that talking to a psychologist about my mental illnesses helps. I feel that talking about how I feel and why I feel like I do makes me feel worse. It’s a relief that there is that help out there for those who need it but to me it makes me more sad. And I don’t like talking about myself. I never have.

I remember when I was very depressed I found that seeing a psychologist was a waist of time to me. I always want to please everyone. When I visit someone to talk about my problems with I feel it’s important to make them feel they’re doing a good job. I say things like “I’ve never thought about it that way. You made me see things from another perspective.” I think “I already knew that can I please leave now?”

My psychologist I have now told me that not everyone feel that talking about somethings help. She was very smart that she noticed that about me. She said that we’ll stop seeing each other until I feel like I want to. To me it was hard going to our meetings cause that made me go through all the hard things we talked about again. Instead of thinking about my childhood and everything I’ve been through I try to find things that make me laugh.

The thing that makes me laugh can be lots of things. I love funny photos. Here are some of them.

“I’ll never think about a circus the same way again.”
“Always think about the animals first.”

Both are from my Instgram cecilia.helin.39

That’s my sense of humor.

It looks very much like I don’t have eyes here!

Tomato sauce

I have a first world problem that is a big first world problem. When you get tomato sauce on your clothes and can’t get it off. I can’t remember how many clothes I’ve had to throw away because of tomato sauce stains. Today I had almost eaten all my dinner involving tomato sauce without getting any on my top. And then…….pasta covered in sauce landed on my top. Is it just me? I never learn. I should cover myself in kitchen paper whenever I eat.

Silly joke

I don’t know but is this what they call a “gated community”? It looks very safe…………


I have an idea what to give your kids when it’s their birthday! How about this book about a red dog named Clifford. He’s teaching your kid about what’s important. Or…………… I don’t know when I have read the fine print (I don’t know if that’s the right word). Never mind buy it and your kids will grow up reeeeeeeally fast!

Here sometime

I want to say a big Thank you to all my new and old followers for reading my blog. For the moment I’m into Instagram big time. I love to write here but because my depression is hard at the moment and I find Instagram easier because you can write shorter post. I write lots there. I’m not saying I think writing blog posts are hard but now I get tired whatever I do and that’s why I’m just here sometimes.

On my Instagram I write about the same things I do here.

A thing that I posted on Instagram.

Sugar free sugar. “Our sugar free cookies contain 2 cups of sugar.”

If you want to follow me on Instagram it’s cecilia.helin.39.

I’ll post this in every cathegory so it reaches all of you.

See you there or sometimes here.


I have a piece of Princess cake.

Should I or shouldn’t I eat it?

I should. And I did! It was tasty.

Empty plate! I scraped it dry. There are no crumbs I ate it all.

Happy easter!


I had the biggest first world problem today. I mean it can’t get any more first world problematic than this.

I had bought a packet (couldn’t find a better word) of bisquits. It turned out the packet was burgular safe and I couldn’t open it. I tried everything and nothing helped. I tried knives and a pair of scissors.

My day is ruined! No bisquits.