Peel

I have to peel my face. I feel like my skin is dirty if I don’t. I do a deep clean often cause if I don’t the pores get clogged. I use face masks sometimes but I think it takes a bit long because you have to leave it on your face for some time.

My skin is on the oily side. That can often make the skin “dull”. Peeling now and then is good but peeling in a daily skincare is better. The best daily peeling I’ve found is Vichy Idealia peeling. You put it on like a tonic at night (when you clean your face) and leave it on.

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Often daily peels are too strong. Vichy’s peeling isn’t. It makes your skin tone even and your face feels deep cleaned.

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I give it 5 of 5 because it’s perfect.

 

Sugarless

I know I’m writing lots about depression now. I do it cause I feel more depressed than in a long time. I would do more humour posts if I could but it’s hard to when I don’t have anything to laugh about at the moment.

There’s a positive thing about my depression. I loose my sugar cravings. I eat lots of candy when I’m “balanced”. I usually can’t have dinner without candy afterwards. Now I haven’t had candy for some time. I don’t miss it.

I know sugar is hard to quit. I’m happy I’ve managed without it for a while. I have to say though I eat sugar things like cookies now but not as many like I usually do. Candy is my biggest source of candy and I feel like not eating that is a huge improvement.

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The thing that makes it easier for me to quit sugar is sugar free gum. There are many flavors to choose from nowadays and it’s easy to find a favorite one. I have some gum after dinner and that makes me not want candy. I know you think that’s easy for me to say I only have to replace sugar with something simple as gum, but that does it for me. I can’t say I’ll quit candy for all times, but every candy free day you have is better than nothing.

Fruit joke

A bad fruit joke. I have to tell you that.

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A retired banana and a youngster. Or a banana that doesn’t moisturize and a banana that does.

 

Vegan salad

I try to eat healthy sometimes. I often eat not that healthy and when I’ve done that for a while I have to clean my body. That means no meat and less sugar.

When I had the latest “cleaning” I made a vegan warm salad. Haha I know salad, or lettuce, is vegan in itself. Often though and what I mean, is that a salad has meat, fish or something like that added to it.

A vegan salad that only has veggies in it can be a bit “too little”. Only raw veggies almost never fills me up anyway. Warm veggies do if I pick certain ones. This salad was delicious. The things I used in the salad were oven baked potatoes, carrots, broccoli and brussel sprouts. I mixed them with plant based butter and salt and pepper. I love all those ingredients. I also put raw tomatoes and spinach in the salad. I didn’t warm them because I like them better raw.

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The rest of the meals that day were oat porridge, scrambled eggs and rice cakes. I know eggs are not that healthy but my body craves protein. Eggs are better than nothing. I exercise lots and have to eat balanced.

Better

I don’t think anyone should force their getting better from a depression method on you. I’ve had many “know it allers” give their thoughts but that didn’t help. The ones that make me angriest are those giving advice that never have been depressed themselves. I have to say there’s a difference between giving friendly advice and shoving advice down someone’s throat. I love those that care about you and want you to feel better. It’s the ones that think they know everything and demand you to do what they say that makes me angry.

With that said I thought I would tell you how I survive bad depressions. Firstly I do what’s good for me. The thing that helps me more than anything is being by myself and surf the net. I don’t answer calls or send e mails when I do it. I can’t avoid people trying to contact me for long but a day here and there is fine. I try to avoid websites that makes me sad or angry. To read and forget about myself is mind cleansing to me.

I eat what I want. I do that all the time but I eat more unhealthy than usual when I’m depressed.

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Haha bags with candy helps. I get excited when candy’s about that’s why the picture is blurry!

I avoid stressful social media. There are social media places where you have to post “everything is perfect” pictures and that stresses me out. This blog is not stressful and not something I avoid.

I think my “off time” is important. I don’t take work home with me.

These were some things that help me.

Depressed

I have hit the lowest low in my depression. I’ve felt the depression coming a long time now and it came with full force a while ago. I feel tired and have lost the will to do anything. I should be used to feeling like this but I don’t think you ever get used to it. I feel depressed all the time but not like this. There’s an expression in Sweden “walking into a wall”. Even if you haven’t heard that it speaks for itself. You walk into the wall because you’re too depressed and then you’re stuck in that feeling.

The first sign of deep depression for me is feeling sick like I’m going to throw up. This goes on for days and I loose all strenght. I’ve tried to take care of myself but there was nothing I could do about it. I feel like crying but I don’t.

A big reason for my depression is that I don’t have the medicines I should have. My doctor have given me different medicines to try. Nothing has helped. A while ago he put me on a anti-anxiety medicine. I got physically sick from it. I told him that I got sick but he wouldn’t listen. He told me there were no side effects like I experienced to it and I should keep taking it. I tried to keep taking it but I couldn’t. I got tired of trying medicines that made me sick and cause of that I quit the ones that made me sick. I have no anti depressant medicine at the moment cause of that.

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There’s not only depression at the moment. Today we had “sandwich cake” for dinner. A big sandwich cake! I love it.

Rest

I had to have a mental rest. My anxiety and depression have made me tired and I had to do nothing. That’s the only thing that helps for me. I have to clear my head when I feel that way. I’m that person that heal when I do nothing.

A side to me you don’t know about is that music is my thing. I’ve had music in my life all my life. I sing and write songs. All my life isn’t correct. I had many years where I was too depressed to play and write songs. I somehow denied myself from having anything to do with music.

Now I’m finding my way back to doing things I love. I’ve bought new instruments to mark kind of a new beginning. My old instruments reminds me of how I’ve felt in the past. You could think music instruments are only things but not to me.

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Kajsa gets relaxed when I sing.

My favorite music genre is rock music. I love it. I listen to a lot of music genres but rock is what I love.

 

Oldies

My mom has ordered things from a mailorder company. They focuses mostly on older people. Cause she’s ordered from this company they send her their catalogue all the time. I always laugh when I read the catalogue because it’s crazy.

This is the kind of clothes they sell. Clothes for mature women.

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They sell clothes but they also have practical items. Look at the couple in the catalogue. They are walking outside in pyjamases! The text to that picture is that this company sell things to make you enjoy the things you always have enjoyed. “If you used to wear pyjamas all day we make it possible for you to keep doing it.” It doesn’t say that but that picture together with “we sell you convenient things” makes you think that.

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The craziest thing is all the vibrators they sell. Lots! But that goes along perfectly with the pyjamas couple!

 

Cake

I like pastries. Yesterday was “Gustav adolfs” day in Sweden. I’m not an expert on why we celebrate that day but the main thing is that we eat pastries. When you hear “Gustav adolfs” day you think about whipped cream and unhealthy things.

My mom had the important mission to buy pastries for her and I. She went to some places cause they were hard to find. There either weren’t any. That or they were sold out. She found a coffee shop that had the pastries. Or not any “Gustav adolf” pastries but everyday pastries where they put a portrait made by chocolate of that Gustav man. I think they made a pastry for this day before but I don’t know if they make it anymore.

My mom bought four pastries. The coffee shop had two different pastries with the chocolate Gustav. She bought two of each. One was a chocolate pastry. It was a chocolate cake topped with chocolate mousse. The second was a “Napoleon” pastry. That is a pastry with whipped cream between layers of puff pastry.

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The chocolate one was a bit much. I couldn’t eat the whole pastry. I did eat the whole “Napoleon” though. And I ate both on the same day.

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Care

-I have infected eyes.

-You have.

We had to take a trip to the vet this week. Kajsa got an infection in one eye. It was itching and she couldn’t keep the eye open. It was filled with fluid. I had to get her help.

The vet said the eyes are sensitive and it’s better to have them checked even if you don’t know if it’s serious.

Now she has an infection in both eyes. It must have spread when Kajsa was scratching the eye that was first infected. I told her no when she scratched but I couldn’t watch her all the time. Kajsa got eye drops and the eyes heal fast.

When your pet gets white stuff in it’s eyes get it to the vet. That’s the first sign of an infection.

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