Panic attack

I don’t know why but I have gotten these panic attacks lately when I’m out. I haven’t told you but I don’t work because of all my illnesses. I suffer from depression, anxiety, social anxiety and OCD. I know it sounds impossible to live with them all but I do. In the beginning it was “just” depression but now I suffer from all of that. And now on top of it all I have these panic attacks. It’s like having an “overdose” of anxiety. If you wonder how I cope with all my illnesses it’s because of my sense of humor. I still have the ability to laugh. I don’t go around laughing all the time but I can still find some things funny.

For me a panic attack doesn’t come out of nowhere. I feel it long before it comes crashing down so to speak. I have this hysterical anxiety and it gets hard to breath. If I’m out I have to sit down sometimes to calm myself down. I don’t have these attacks everytime I’m out but often enough to make me not wanna go out. I never want to leave the house but I force myself to do it. I always plan ahead what day I’m going out to prepare myself for what seems impossible. I always go out one day a week to do my shopping. Then I shop everything I need for a week. On that day I do everything without trying to think about what I do. Before I go out I get ready like a robot. I can’t think about what I’m going to do. I have to protect myself.

Me during a panic attack. Not a good photo but it shows how I feel.

I also always plan ahead what store to go to. I never randomly visit a store! Even when I see something I want to buy I never go into that store on days I haven’t planned to.

Today I went out and I made it home safely! I feel proud of myself. To all of you suffering from one or all of the illnesses I do I understand what you’re going through! All I can say is don’t give up. You can do it. I know how impossible things can be but again you can do it.

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