Sadness

I’m not a medial professional what so ever. But I’ll try to explain the difference between depression and being “just” sad. I wrote just with this “” because being sad can be unbearable and hard to feel. Being sad is when you are sad in direct “link” to something that happens to you and you feel it for a short while. When a relationship ends for example is what can cause you to feel sad. I know how heart breaking a break up can be. I remember when me and the love of my life broke up a long time ago. It took me almost a year to feel some kind of happiness. I could work and study but I felt that something (the love of my life) was missing. Everyone noticed how sad I was and it was very hard. All I did was think about him. It took like I said about a year to get over him but it got easier everyday and then I began living my life to the fullest. I cried when we just had split up but then I stopped doing that. Slowly I found myself feeling happy again. I do want to write that for many a break up can be the reason for a deep depression. Don’t get me wrong I know it can be impossible to get over someone. I used this as an example of “just” being sad because that was what is was for me.

A depression is a whole different story. For me my depression just didn’t appear one day. It took years of being deeply sad and being reminded of my horrible childhood everyday that lead me to depression. My childhood is the main reason I suffer from depression and every illness I have. What really pushed me over the edge was when I got in a relationship with a man that reminded me in any way of the man that ruined my childhood. It took a while but then I slowly began breaking down. I began losing myself. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t do anything but cry. I didn’t care about anything. I’ve been clinically depressed since 2004. I don’t feel less depressed all these years later. I never get used to the feeling I live with everyday. Depression is a feeling of total loss of everything that used to be you. I think I will be depressed for the rest of my life. It began with depression that has lead to anxiety among many different illnesses I suffer from. I don’t feel sorry about my depression and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. To everyone who’s depressed. I know how you feel!

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