I have gone through many doctors during my days with mental health illnesses. Doctor’s who specialize in the mental health care are best because they often know more about the most effective way to help you. The issue with this is there are not many of them around. And when they leave they often don’t tell their patients. I’ve had two of those doctors at the clinic I’m at right now. Both left without saying anything. It takes time for the clinics to get new specialists. When they are looking for one they let “ordinary” doctors treat the patients. With ordinary I mean doctors that treat colds and those sorts of things.

Now since my doctor left I’ve had one of those ordinary doctors. We have talked twice. The first time we decided that I would begin PTSD treatment. For those of you that don’t know I had an awful childhood and that affects me even today. It’s the cause of my anxiety and depression. The reason I said it was a good idea to begin treatment was only because I wanted to make the doctor feel like she was the best doctor. I’m not ready at all to do anything until I have the right medicines to help me survive the therapy. We talked about my childhood and even though it was just a brief conversation it made me very ill. I don’t want to think about what it would be like to go through a whole treatment and not being “protected” by the right medicines.

I’ve told this to the clinic. They told me there’s a new specialist there. I’m about to see her in a while. My last doctor seemed a bit unaware of what she could do to help me. I wish this new doctor is better in what medicines that would help me. Until then all I can do is keep feeling sick and continue to take the wrong medicines.