I feel like my depression has reached a new level of sadness. For a long time now I’ve felt how everything in me are “dying”. Not dying but I feel more sad everyday. I think it’s a combination of many things. Most of all it’s because I’ve taken on a lot. I hate to disappoint people. I often forget to think about what’s best for me and do what everyone around me wants me to do. I feel empty and sad inside. I had to take less of an anti depressant because it made me gain a lot of weight. I have gained 15 kilos. I never gain weight on my own. It’s always because of medicines. The anti depressant wasn’t that effective anyway. But the smaller amount affects me even so.

I feel uncomfortable. That’s the best way to describe how I feel. Like I’ve done something I shouldn’t have. And the sadness is numbing me. I don’t care about anything. I should be used to these feelings but I’m not. All you suffering from depression. How do you get through hard times. I would do anything to feel less sick.

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