I want to say a big Thank you to all my new and old followers for reading my blog. For the moment I’m into Instagram big time. I love to write here but because my depression is hard at the moment and I find Instagram easier because you can write shorter post. I write lots there. I’m not saying I think writing blog posts are hard but now I get tired whatever I do and that’s why I’m just here sometimes.
On my Instagram I write about the same things I do here.
A thing that I posted on Instagram.
If you want to follow me on Instagram it’s cecilia.helin.39.
I’ll post this in every cathegory so it reaches all of you.
I find that the one thing that affect my depression more than anything else is cooking. I don’t have an appetite and get stressed when it’s time to cook. All I want to do is cry when I go to the kitchen to make dinner. I get stressed when there’s too many steps to make a dish or that it takes too long make it. I try to do things that are fast and easy.
I know there are those that find cooking relaxing. I’m jealous of you. When you say cooking calms you down I want to be that way. I wish I could say that too. To me it’s just a pain. The hardest part is to figure out what to cook. I have lived on my own sometimes and I’m not proud to say my cooking routine has been a disgrace then. There have been times where I’ve eaten candy or cake for dinner. Disgusting I know. But If you’re not hungry and you’re depressed enough to just want to cry your eyes out cooking, eating healthy is not important.
All the cooking I do and post here is the easiest possible. I could make food that would impress you but that would be too hard for me. The funny thing about it is that I’m a good cook. I often get positive feedback when I cook. I don’t know how it’s possible. It must be that I love food (even though I’m not hungry) and cook what I enjoy to eat.
With all this in mind I’ve decided to grade all the food I upload in a “stress inducing” scale. I know it’s not just me that find cooking hard and this may help you to cook “stress free” things. Number 1 is the lowest stress inducing and 5 the highest. I will name it stress scale.
My first stress scale dinner is a number 1 boarding on number 2. It’s the easiest pasta dish you can make. Fill a saucepan with water. Put the pasta in the cold water. When the water begin to heat up the pasta also begin cooking. It saves a lot of time. When the pasta is ready you drain the water. Put the pasta back in the saucepan. Add butter, tinned crushed tomatoes, milk, cream and spices. Let it cook for a while. That’s it! It’s fast and tasty. Serve with vegetables or what I have on the plate fruit. It’s good to have some vitamins with dinner.
I feel that we in the “first world” have problem we consider important.
*You’re in the grocery store. After a while in the queue the shopper in front of you put their things on the conveyor belt. When it’s your turn the cashier asks the person in front of you to put up a sign that the cashier is leaving and you have to go to the cashier beside it and of course queue a long time in that queue.
*In the grocery store you choose the cashier where there’s a shorter queue than to the other cashiers. Of course it turns out it was the wrong choice. In you’re queue there are old people paying not with cards but with money. They don’t pay with banknotes they pay with coins which takes forever.
*You buy frozen pizza. It turns out it takes longer to cook it than it says on the box. This makes you angry and you stare at the oven because you think that will make the pizza ready sooner. You have a long discussion with your partner about the time it said it would take to cook it. The world is collapsing but this pizza makes you more angry than that.
*You are buying soap but it turns out all the soaps have every color than the one you color you want. “I can’t have a pink soap in the bathroom. It doesn’t go well with the color of the towels”.
*There is one sausage missing in the sausage”pack”. Dinner is ruined.
I’m that type of person that cook just because I have to. I’m the one in the household that find making dinner fine but nothing more than that. The rest of the family finds it painful, in lack of a better word. I’m also that type of person that walks around aimlessly in grocery stores without any idea what to buy. I never have any idea or get any idea of what to buy. I look at shelves of food but all I see is nothing. I don’t like to cook and all the food screams “takes too long to cook” or “to make that I have to buy lots of another ingredients”. I often find myself buying processed food like ready made meatballs.
Today I made an effort and actually made dinner from scratch. It’s very simple to make. Spaghetti bolognese. The ingredients I use in my bolognese are of course pasta. For the sauce I mix minced meat, tomatoe puree, onions, milk, whipping cream and spices.
I know it’s not a fancy dinner but for all of you struggling with what to cook it’s an idea for what to make. I don’t like raw vegetables and I serve my dinner with fruit instead. This is kiwi fruit. I think lots of fruits are delicious. I need some vitamine C to go with my dinner.
I would like to take a moment and write about the president inaugurallition. Is that right, inaugurallition? I’m all for Biden. You go man. Lady Gaga did a beautiful job singing the american national anthem. The high notes were perfect. We joked that she would come out in nothing but underwear making it into a big show like she usually does. Then Biden and his nearest friends would get heart attacks.
You saw Biden and his inner circle of friends and also his fellow politician colleagues. They look like people living in a retirement home having a field day. I don’t mind Biden and lots of polititians respectable age but this was fun. One former politicioner looked like he was sleeping. Many walked like they could use a walking stick.
There was a man who had one of the more important job this day. He sanitized the lectern where the speaches was being held. After every speaker he appeared from now here cleaning the lectern surface.
Biden doesn’t have a little to correct in USA from now on. He must heal not just USA but also heal the view the rest of the world has on the country. He is the right man.
I think Craigslist is an all american thing. You could use it everywhere but I don’t know any users or have heard it mentioned in Sweden. Here or anywhere outside of USA. I’ve read about it though and don’t get how anyone can even think about using it. I know the news only cover the disgusting things that happens there. Many good things probably goes on but the bad things are….bad.
The thing I would never use Craigslist for is housing. It seems like everyone is a murderer in that section. On the lighter side when it comes to bad things in the housing section, I read about a man that would rent out his home for free to groups of women that wanted somewhere to stay during holidays. “All” he wanted was to do “naughty” things with them. Disgusting. The women that he aimed for probably went on holiday to get away from husbands and boyfriends. No woman in their right mind would even consider answering that ad.
I also read about a man that wanted a female roommate. Her rent was to be a girlfriend whenever he wanted to. Girlfriend. Right. Disgusting.
I made fish fingers for dinner today and the box it came in got me thinking. First of all it had 15 fish fingers in it. Our familj consist of an even amount of members. That means someone will get one fish finger less at one dinner. That was me. I only got three pieces of fish because I’m like that. I rather have me missing out than anyone else.
The second thought I had while making dinner was this. It said on the fish finger box the fish consisted of 100 % fish. I know they meant there wasn’t added artificial things to the fish but think about it. You buy fish because you want fish. If I wanted pork I would have bought pork. Important thoughts I know.
I made a drop in appointment in a hair salon a while ago. I often cut my hair myself but I wanted a professional hairdresser to do it that time. Before this haircut I had a professional hairdresser cut my hair too but she left my hair uneven and I didn’t know how to sort it out myself. For this haircut in question I went in to a salon I didn’t know anything about and asked if they could give me a hair cut then and there. They could and I sat down in the hair cut “chair”. I first only wanted them to give me a bang. I love having bangs because it makes the hair look better without you doing anything. When I talked to the hairdresser about the haircut I felt like cutting my while hair and asked if she had the time to do it. The hairdresser said she didn’t but a colleague of her could.
My hairdresser swept in like she thought she was the queen. She began strangling me with the hair cut “cape” they use to protect your clothes. I could hardly breath. I didn’t say anything about it because I was happy she could give me a haircut. I had barely got used to the cape when the hairdresser without warning began spraying my hair with something. Or should I say rather drowning my hair with something. I got it everywhere and my eyes felt like someone had put them on fire. I also got some gel in my hair. I said my scalp is sensitive and asked if she could be careful. The hairdresser said something like she wasn’t careful and she took out the round brush. Not the round brush! They use that for the thing I can’t take, the blow dry. I haven’t told you I had washed ny hair before this and the hairdresser had to dry my hair. She began hurting my head with the brush and blowdryer. I wanted to cry because it was that bad.
When she had damaged my scalp with the blowdryer she began damage it with the scissor(s?). I don’t know how but even the haircut was painful. She cut my hair for a long time and I knew I shouldn’t have set my foot in the salon. I have thick hair and if you cut big layers in it it doesn’t come out nice. She cut big layers in the hair. And she cut it uneven. And it wasn’t cheap. I payed for nothing. My hair has two hair styles now. One short one long.
This has got nothing to do with it. I couldn’t find a better hairdresser image.