Weight

I have had big problems when it comes to weight. I have told you about my belly that has been a huge problem. I have been thin almost my whole life. It’s medicines that has made me gain weight. Once it was a medicine for my anxiety that made me gain almost one more me in weight. This time I think I know which medicine it is that causes the weight gain but I have to take it or I will get mentally exhausted again.

I exercise almost everyday and since I saw the state my belly was in I’ve done ab exercises with every workout. I have worked the abs like crazy. I love to exercise however the ab workout I could do without. I’ve never been into working out my abs but I knew a while ago I had to do it. I looked pregnant. The belly hanged down. I got disgusted with myself. I looked like a ball!

For a long time I have worked out very hard. My belly is smaller! It took a loooooooooong time but I’m on the right track. I know that if I ate healthier I would have gotten an even smaller belly. But I love food and I can’t do it. I rather workout like I do because that has helped me.

Then.
Today.

Proud.

Here sometime

I want to say a big Thank you to all my new and old followers for reading my blog. For the moment I’m into Instagram big time. I love to write here but because my depression is hard at the moment and I find Instagram easier because you can write shorter post. I write lots there. I’m not saying I think writing blog posts are hard but now I get tired whatever I do and that’s why I’m just here sometimes.

On my Instagram I write about the same things I do here.

A thing that I posted on Instagram.

Sugar free sugar. “Our sugar free cookies contain 2 cups of sugar.”

If you want to follow me on Instagram it’s cecilia.helin.39.

I’ll post this in every cathegory so it reaches all of you.

See you there or sometimes here.

Excessive exercise

I try my best to get the weight off my belly. My arms and legs have gotten bigger but that is because they have muscles now. My arms and legs are in the best shape they have been for a while. I don’t write that to tell you how much I love them but I’m happy that some of my body parts are in shape. Then we have my belly. I’ve written about it many times but I want to give you an update what has happened with it.

Some days I feel it has gotten smaller. Some days I feel it has gotten bigger. I don’t know what to do. I exercise excessively. Often every day. I know that exercising too much can do more harm than good but I feel bad when I don’t do it. In every workout my belly gets 30 minutes of hard exercises. I train every part of my belly. It is in rather good shape because I feel the exercises getting easier. But it’s big even though I do all this.

I also have to do something about my diet. Now I eat what I want and how much I want. I try to cut down on cream and butter in my food but I think everything taste nothing when I don’t put fat in it.

This was my belly.

This is my belly now.
There’s some small difference however I shouldn’t have any belly to talk about because of my exercise. I’ll keep on trying to slim it down.

Exercising

I am doing all I can to get rid of my enormous belly. I know many of you probably think that my belly isn’t big but to me it is. When I was younger I never did any ab workouts because there was nothing to work on. Now I’ve been doing ab workouts with every arm and leg workout however I am not seeing that much of a change. I mean I’m doing a very extensive ab workout to get every part of my belly exercised. It’s lower and upper abs and more. I do an 17 minutes ab workout. I should have gotten further than I am.

The plank. Works your abs really hard.
This top hides my belly.
The jeans wants to break in every seem.

I feel my jeans going on a little smoother though. I know my legs have gotten bigger because of my exercise and that has something to do with my jeans getting too small. Before I had to pull them hard to get them on. I was afraid they would fall a part with every pull because I had to use all my strength to get them on. Even now I pull hard to get my jeans on but it doesn’t take that long anymore. It’s not a big change but I could have lost belly fat even though I don’t see any change. I compare my jeans to sausage “skin”. They are filled to the absolute max. I’m waiting for the day they won’t fit anymore. I have written this before and the fear of my jeans breaking when I’m in public isn’t gone. I’m happy every time I get home without any “breaking” incident happening. I have more jeans but they’re small too. Time to buy bigger I think.

The biggest change I’ve done when it comes to eating to loose weight is that I’ve stopped eating candy. I told you about it in “Sugar ban” where I wrote what I’ve done to ban candy from my life. It’s hard to do and I wrote that to possible help someone to also stop. I thought I never could do it but I did. I often ate candy to have something to do. I haven’t even touched any candy for a long time! I had to stop eating candy because it affected me and my body more than I thought it ever could. I’m not saying I will never eat candy again however now I’m not craving candy in any way.

These were my favorite things to buy.

From me and my jeans, we stay together until they break!

Getting bigger

I wrote in the post “Stuffed” that there’s no difference between my body and a sausage. We’re both ready to burst. Me from my clothes and the sausage from it’s “skin”. I’m still stuffed. It even seems my body keeps stuffing itself and getting bigger.

Sausages.

I exercise almost every day. The only thing I’ve noticed is that I’ve had to downsizing my bra’s. That’s one part of my body I don’t want to get smaller. The belly keeps growing even though I do ab exercises with every workout. I know it takes a while to slim down your belly however I want it smaller now. My arms and legs are strong and they’re bigger because I exercise them. I’m not looking “muscular” but I feel that they are strong. Especially my arms. That must be the easiest part of your body to train.

I’ve been thinking about something. I can’t almost get my jeans on. It’s a struggle every time. I try to pull them up but to get them over my belly is almost mission impossible. I pull and jump too and it takes forever to get them to fit. When I’m out doing things I just wait for them to burst. I can hardly sit down because I don’t know If they can take the weight of me sitting down. Not to mention when it’s time to stand up. I’m happy every time they don’t just break. Another thing I think about is when I go to the toilet somewhere else other than when I’m home. What If I can’t get them on again? What If they won’t fit my belly? If that happened what would I do. Run home? If I’m in the mall do I have to have a walk of shame to a clothing store and buy a new pair of jeans? Maybe I should buy bigger jeans so I don’t have to think about it. I never had these problems when I was younger.

Me a couple of days ago.
Me now. Stuffier than ever. (The clothes have been washed since the first picture). The jeans struggle to keep themselves together.

Stuffed

I have a question. What’s the difference between me and a sausage? None. We both look stuffed ready to burst. We have a surface and an inside that stretches it to the max.

My clothes are easier to get on since I began adding ab workout to my exercise routine however I’m not even near where I want to be. I don’t eat candy any more and I want it to make some difference. It takes a while for any changes in your behaviour to show and I will keep on doing what I do. You want to see changes immediately but when it comes to exercise it takes a while before you see any changes. Me not eating candy is something I’m proud of. I don’t know If it will help but it’s better to not eat candy than to do it.

Stuffed ready to burst.
The clothes hide what I don’t want anyone to see. My legs and arms are strong however the belly is a disgrace. My trousers holds the belly in but I feel that my clothes soon won’t be able to hide it because they can’t take the weight and will burst open. I don’t blame anyone for thinking I’m pregnant. It looks that way.

I have been skinny almost all my life however with age it gets harder to stay that way. I have to think more about what I do and eat. I love food and I don’t want to take the pleasure of eating away but I have to think about what I put in my body. I try to think more healthy when it comes to food.