Better

I haven’t traveled or anything like that. That’s not why I’ve been absent. I want to tell you there’s been a crazy time. Instead I’ve had every flu that’s out there. I fell sick and when I though I was through with it I got sick again. I am the happiest when I do nothing however this was more than nothing. I couldn’t do anything.

I do a little post this time. I have to tell you I ate more candy than normal during this. I know sugar isn’t a flu cure but it helps. We currently have these candy bags and they’ll help me getting well.

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There’s honestly one more bag somewhere. You can’t have enough sugary goodies.

Sugar

I have had a sugar craving for some days. I don’t know why I can do without sugar some days and then suddenly I have to have sugar. I have told you about how I chew on sugarfree gum to not eat candy. Now however gum doesn’t help.

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Today after dinner I ate candy until I felt sick. I had everything from chocolate to sugary candy. I can’t only have some candy. I have to have lots. All candy eaters know how it is. You eat until you you feel full. You eat candy you enjoy but you also eat candy you don’t enjoy if that’s all you have. I don’t think all chocolate is tasty but if I only have non favorite chocolate at home during my sugar cravings I eat it. I don’t want it but I eat it anyway. I love candy.

 

 

Sugarless

I know I’m writing lots about depression now. I do it cause I feel more depressed than in a long time. I would do more humour posts if I could but it’s hard to when I don’t have anything to laugh about at the moment.

There’s a positive thing about my depression. I loose my sugar cravings. I eat lots of candy when I’m “balanced”. I usually can’t have dinner without candy afterwards. Now I haven’t had candy for some time. I don’t miss it.

I know sugar is hard to quit. I’m happy I’ve managed without it for a while. I have to say though I eat sugar things like cookies now but not as many like I usually do. Candy is my biggest source of candy and I feel like not eating that is a huge improvement.

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The thing that makes it easier for me to quit sugar is sugar free gum. There are many flavors to choose from nowadays and it’s easy to find a favorite one. I have some gum after dinner and that makes me not want candy. I know you think that’s easy for me to say I only have to replace sugar with something simple as gum, but that does it for me. I can’t say I’ll quit candy for all times, but every candy free day you have is better than nothing.

Better

I don’t think anyone should force their getting better from a depression method on you. I’ve had many “know it allers” give their thoughts but that didn’t help. The ones that make me angriest are those giving advice that never have been depressed themselves. I have to say there’s a difference between giving friendly advice and shoving advice down someone’s throat. I love those that care about you and want you to feel better. It’s the ones that think they know everything and demand you to do what they say that makes me angry.

With that said I thought I would tell you how I survive bad depressions. Firstly I do what’s good for me. The thing that helps me more than anything is being by myself and surf the net. I don’t answer calls or send e mails when I do it. I can’t avoid people trying to contact me for long but a day here and there is fine. I try to avoid websites that makes me sad or angry. To read and forget about myself is mind cleansing to me.

I eat what I want. I do that all the time but I eat more unhealthy than usual when I’m depressed.

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Haha bags with candy helps. I get excited when candy’s about that’s why the picture is blurry!

I avoid stressful social media. There are social media places where you have to post “everything is perfect” pictures and that stresses me out. This blog is not stressful and not something I avoid.

I think my “off time” is important. I don’t take work home with me.

These were some things that help me.

Cake

I like pastries. Yesterday was “Gustav adolfs” day in Sweden. I’m not an expert on why we celebrate that day but the main thing is that we eat pastries. When you hear “Gustav adolfs” day you think about whipped cream and unhealthy things.

My mom had the important mission to buy pastries for her and I. She went to some places cause they were hard to find. There either weren’t any. That or they were sold out. She found a coffee shop that had the pastries. Or not any “Gustav adolf” pastries but everyday pastries where they put a portrait made by chocolate of that Gustav man. I think they made a pastry for this day before but I don’t know if they make it anymore.

My mom bought four pastries. The coffee shop had two different pastries with the chocolate Gustav. She bought two of each. One was a chocolate pastry. It was a chocolate cake topped with chocolate mousse. The second was a “Napoleon” pastry. That is a pastry with whipped cream between layers of puff pastry.

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The chocolate one was a bit much. I couldn’t eat the whole pastry. I did eat the whole “Napoleon” though. And I ate both on the same day.

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Sugar

I have a first world problem.

When you buy candy and one of the candy pieces have sugar on it. Because of that everything in the candy bag gets sugary! Everything taste like the sugar coated candy.

There is one solution. Use two bags. One for the sugar candy and one for the non sugary candy. I would do that but I’m too lazy.

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Laugh

I’ve had a wonderful week. Not. I’m cutting down on an anti depressant medicine because I will stop take it. I will try another one but you have to stop taking the one you’re on before you can do it. I’ve stopped taking other medicines before but this is the worst one. This week I’ve had every disease there is because of this cutting down process! I’ve had everything from a cold to a fever and haven’t been able to do anything.

Other than that I’ve had a cold for two months. I am tired! I think my forever cold is because my thyroid isn’t working. I used to take medicines because of a my “broken” thyroid but I stopped taking them. Big mistake! You usually have to take thyroid medicine for the rest of your life.

Yesterday I “dropped in”to a doctors office because of my cold. You can drop in if you have a lighter disease you want help with. My cold was too light for them and I booked an appoinment with a doctor later. They will do not only a “cold exam” but also a thyroid exam. Hilarious times at the moment.

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The positive side to this is that my candy obsession is gone.

Candy ban

I haven’t eaten candy in almost a week! I want to say it’s because I have a strong will but it’s not. I’m changing anti depressant medicine and when you do that you have to stop the one you’re taking. I’m cutting down on the one I’ve been taking for many years. This is the hardest medicine I’ve ever stopped taking. I have flu symtoms and no appetite. That’s the reason I haven’t eaten candy. Good times you think but not for me. I have trouble keeping my weight and loose a lot if I don’t eat.

I have to eat even though I’m not hungry now. I have a good appetite usually but not now. I know many of you don’t think I should complain. “I want to loose weight and would be excited if I wasn’t hungry.”

I’ve always fought to keep my weight and to be too thin is hard. When I meet doctors for the first time they ask if I eat. It feels rude to me. I eat more than I should but can’t put weight on! Now I have no appetite and I’m probably loosing weight right now. The candy I don’t want but food I need. Well.

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Sugar ban

It`s hard to quit sugar. It`s one of the hardest things to quit. Many call sugar a drug and it sort of is. Many doctors want for example soda drinks to carry a warning sign on them that sugar is addictive. Sugar makes us want to eat more. It upsets the mechanisms that tell us we need to stop eating.

20170403_173812I sometimes get sick of myself when I eat too much candy. I reached my lowest level of self respect, when it comes to candy, a couple of years ago. I began eating candy as part of my breakfast. I knew it was crazy but I couldn`t help it. I often eat candy and cakes, which I also eat too much of, when I`m hungry or bored. Candy makes you feel less hungry and there has been moments when I`ve eaten candy instead of food. Crazy I know.

I`ve stopped eating candy for periods of time. When I feel my sugar intake is getting out of control I have to do it. I most commonly decide to stop eating candy and things with added sugar for a week at a time. I`ve found that there are two things that makes it easier for me to do it.

The most important thing for me has been to find a substitute for the habit of eating sugar when I`m bored. Sugar free gum has helped me. I know gum isn`t healthy but it`s healthy enough for me. I chew gum when I know my candy addiction will tell me to eat candy. My biggest sugar craving comes after dinner. I turn to chewing gum.

20170403_173659 A part from chewing gum protein helps me. I eat more protein than usual when I have sugar breaks. I don`t know why it keeps me from giving in to sugar cravings. For me I have realized that the days I exercise and because of that recover with protein powder I eat less candy. When I quit sugar I eat more eggs and meat and it helps. I also try to get some protein powder, sugar free, in my diet to give me more protein.

 

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A meaty protein filled sausage.

I have to have a sugar break now.