Vegetarian bacon

I try to eat vegetarian food often. I try to eat vegetarian food more often than I eat meat. I don’t think meat is good for me. I feel sick both in body and mind when I eat too much meat. I would like to eat strictly vegan food but I can’t because I think plant based milk and those things are……. not tasty. I’ve tried many plant based products but I can’t drink or eat them. Vegan food is tasty like vegan sausages but not the “milk” products. 

I like the vegetarian diet better. I avoid meat but I drink milk and eat eggs. When it comes to vegetarian and vegan  food too there are many ready made alternatives to choose from. I have many vegetarian ready made things in my freezer. It’s no trouble to cook vegetarian things from scratch like tomatoe sauces but sometimes I like to make something fast.

My favorite vegetarian ready made food is soy bacon. It tastes like bacon and is delicious in pasta sauces. The texture is like a sausage, which isn’t that nice, but because I mix it in sauces I don’t think about it. I like meat bacon but because it’s meat I have tried to replace it with the vegetarian alternative.

IMG_20190501_160639.jpg

This is the bacon straight from the freezer.

 

 

 

 

Happy

I sometimes feel almost happy. Skincare makes me feel good. It’s not a cure to illnesses however it makes everything better. I’ve always loved to take care of myself and have spent more than I should on it. My mom is into skincare and I must have gotten it from her. I love to buy skin products. I spend a lot on it but I don’t care. It’s my money!

My favorite skincare products are face creams. I usually don’t buy the most expensive creams although I have from time to time. The more expensive face products are often not better than the normal priced creams.

There’s something I can’t help doing with skincare. I expect it to work at once. I don’t know how many creams I’ve decided didn’t do it for me after one use. Wrinkles take time to erase and only one time with a moisturiser doesn’t help. There’s no moisturiser that remove all wrinkles but it can smooth them out.

Many creams take a long time to do their job. I know that however I want them to work the second I put them on.

20180424_172341

 

 

 

Better

I haven’t traveled or anything like that. That’s not why I’ve been absent. I want to tell you there’s been a crazy time. Instead I’ve had every flu that’s out there. I fell sick and when I though I was through with it I got sick again. I am the happiest when I do nothing however this was more than nothing. I couldn’t do anything.

I do a little post this time. I have to tell you I ate more candy than normal during this. I know sugar isn’t a flu cure but it helps. We currently have these candy bags and they’ll help me getting well.

20180411_174252

There’s honestly one more bag somewhere. You can’t have enough sugary goodies.

Salad

I think that salad is a wonderful thing. You can put what you want in it and it can be healthy. Healthy if you don’t add unhealthy things in it. I could eat salad often. I try to.

There’s a side to salads that make me not eat them all the time. The cutting and slicing! I know it’s a first world problem but it takes a long time to make a salad. When you come home late you don’t want to spend the rest of the day in the kitchen preparing a salad. That and also that you have to buy many ingredients. I often forget to buy some of the things I want in the salad too and never get the salad I wanted.

20170911_164407

20170911_164541

There’s something that helps with all that. Ready made salad. I’ve found that it’s better than making a fresh salad. It’s fast and costs less than if you would buy all the things in it. This Ceasar kit from Dole is delicious. I buy grilled chicken and put in it. The kit contains lettuce, crutons, cheese and dressing. Yummy.

20170911_164846

 

Vegan salad

I try to eat healthy sometimes. I often eat not that healthy and when I’ve done that for a while I have to clean my body. That means no meat and less sugar.

When I had the latest “cleaning” I made a vegan warm salad. Haha I know salad, or lettuce, is vegan in itself. Often though and what I mean, is that a salad has meat, fish or something like that added to it.

A vegan salad that only has veggies in it can be a bit “too little”. Only raw veggies almost never fills me up anyway. Warm veggies do if I pick certain ones. This salad was delicious. The things I used in the salad were oven baked potatoes, carrots, broccoli and brussel sprouts. I mixed them with plant based butter and salt and pepper. I love all those ingredients. I also put raw tomatoes and spinach in the salad. I didn’t warm them because I like them better raw.

20171130_163133

The rest of the meals that day were oat porridge, scrambled eggs and rice cakes. I know eggs are not that healthy but my body craves protein. Eggs are better than nothing. I exercise lots and have to eat balanced.

Better

I don’t think anyone should force their getting better from a depression method on you. I’ve had many “know it allers” give their thoughts but that didn’t help. The ones that make me angriest are those giving advice that never have been depressed themselves. I have to say there’s a difference between giving friendly advice and shoving advice down someone’s throat. I love those that care about you and want you to feel better. It’s the ones that think they know everything and demand you to do what they say that makes me angry.

With that said I thought I would tell you how I survive bad depressions. Firstly I do what’s good for me. The thing that helps me more than anything is being by myself and surf the net. I don’t answer calls or send e mails when I do it. I can’t avoid people trying to contact me for long but a day here and there is fine. I try to avoid websites that makes me sad or angry. To read and forget about myself is mind cleansing to me.

I eat what I want. I do that all the time but I eat more unhealthy than usual when I’m depressed.

20171130_175622

Haha bags with candy helps. I get excited when candy’s about that’s why the picture is blurry!

I avoid stressful social media. There are social media places where you have to post “everything is perfect” pictures and that stresses me out. This blog is not stressful and not something I avoid.

I think my “off time” is important. I don’t take work home with me.

These were some things that help me.

Rest

I had to have a mental rest. My anxiety and depression have made me tired and I had to do nothing. That’s the only thing that helps for me. I have to clear my head when I feel that way. I’m that person that heal when I do nothing.

A side to me you don’t know about is that music is my thing. I’ve had music in my life all my life. I sing and write songs. All my life isn’t correct. I had many years where I was too depressed to play and write songs. I somehow denied myself from having anything to do with music.

Now I’m finding my way back to doing things I love. I’ve bought new instruments to mark kind of a new beginning. My old instruments reminds me of how I’ve felt in the past. You could think music instruments are only things but not to me.

20170907_175239

Kajsa gets relaxed when I sing.

My favorite music genre is rock music. I love it. I listen to a lot of music genres but rock is what I love.

 

Care

-I have infected eyes.

-You have.

We had to take a trip to the vet this week. Kajsa got an infection in one eye. It was itching and she couldn’t keep the eye open. It was filled with fluid. I had to get her help.

The vet said the eyes are sensitive and it’s better to have them checked even if you don’t know if it’s serious.

Now she has an infection in both eyes. It must have spread when Kajsa was scratching the eye that was first infected. I told her no when she scratched but I couldn’t watch her all the time. Kajsa got eye drops and the eyes heal fast.

When your pet gets white stuff in it’s eyes get it to the vet. That’s the first sign of an infection.

20171028_180031.jpg

Caring

I think hair is big business. When you don`t feel fine about your hair you`re miserable. It doesn`t mean you think about your hair all the time but if it`s not what you like it`s hard.

I`ve cut my hair myself for a long time. I do it because it`s expensive to go to a hairdresser. I only trim my ends and to pay 100 dollars to do that is a lot. I do it too because of the way hairdressers treat my hair. They always want cut layers in my hair. That can be wonderful if your hair looks good in it. My hair looks like I`ve got two different hairstyles with layers. Hair dressers say “I cut layers in your hair” but they could say “you get two hairstyles in one cut”. My hair is more than straight and that`s why layers looks like that, layers.

WIN_20170928_17_50_00_Pro

The thing I don`t want in a hair salon is a blow out. It feels like they pull out every hair. I say that I don`t want that round brush tearing apart my hair in the blow dryer but they can`t help them selves. They say they will dry a little but then they get their brush and dryer and make my scalp burn. I get many demand a blow out however I can`t stand it.

I use oil on my hair because I have tangles. When I don`t put oil on I can`t brush my hair because of the tangles. My favorite hair products come from Marc Anthony. This oil Repairing Macadamia Oil Treatment makes my hair soft and without tangles. It lasts a long time.

 

WIN_20170928_17_50_28_Pro

Not the best focused picture.

 

Accepting

I have had many rather insane things happen to me when it comes to the psychiatric care. I wouldn`t be this depressed if it had been “smooth sailing”. I`ve had doctors not doing what they should and because I`m “too healthy to be ill” I often haven`t been treated like I`m ill. I`m not well but because I`m not like what most consider a depressed to be like many don`t understand how bad I feel. There are no stereotypical depressed but many think there are. When you don`t behave like this stereotypical depressed you get treated like you are well.

WIN_20160415_17_39_04_Pro

 

I`ve been in the psychiatric care a long time. In the beginning I was happy that someone realized how I felt. I did everything I was told without giving it a thought. I remember how I, I even do this to some point today, said what I felt was the right thing to say to doctors and therapists. I felt like if I said the truth which often wasn`t what doctors had in mind they would be offended or I would be considered not being depressed. Now I`ve learned you have to stick up for yourself. You don`t have to be mean or anything but you have to stick up for yourself.

The doctor I have now is okey. The only thing is that he is like most doctors. They don`t think outside the box. They subscribe the medicines they do all the time. I`ve tried some new medicines but like most of the time they don`t work. A medicine like anti-depressant take time to work. I know that and when a medicine hasn`t made anything better after a while you know it won`t work. A while ago the doctor I have wanted me to try a anti-anxiety medicine I haven`t tried before. I`ll do anything to feel better and thought it was a wonderful idea. Until the doctor told me about it. It had lots of restrictions to it. You couldn`t take much more else than it. When a medicine is like this at least I know it must be bad to you.

Inspite all restrictions I tried the medicine. I felt sick at once. Physically sick. However I wanted to give it time. Lots of medicines make you feel sick in the beginning. I went to my doctor and he said it shouldn`t make you feel like that and that I should keep on taking it. I did but it got bad. I lost my appetite, felt sick and my bowls felt like they exploded. I was on the toilet all day for a long time. My old self would have been a good patient and kept taking the medicine. I would endured the all day toilet visits and never minded the rapid weight loss because of them. My new self decided to stop taking the medicine and don`t care. I haven`t been to the doctor for a while and he doesn`t know I`ve stopped taking the medicine. He won`t think I`m a perfect client but I don`t care!