Weight

I struggle with my weight. You know that I have compared myself to a sausage because we are stuffed under our skin ready to burst. I don’t know however I feel that some of the fat on my body has turned into muscles. I exercise too much I know that. I have days where I don’t train at all but it’s hard. I want to exercise every day but it’s not healthy. I have to force myself to have exercise free days. I want to loose weight and too much exercise I think makes more harm than good. When you exercise everyday your body never gets to build muscles and burn fat. I have also told you that I can hardly get my jeans on because of all the fat. I think it also has to do with that I’ve gained muscles. I want bigger legs and arms and my legs are bigger. I think both the fat and my new muscles has something to do with me not getting my jeans on.

I can’t get rid of the pregnant looking belly.

The thing I should try harder with is food. I can’t go on a diet because then I’m hungry all the time. I know there are diets where you don’t feel hungry but they are complicated and you have to change everything you eat. For example I can’t go without carbs. Everywhere you look carbs is the cause of weight gain and lots more. When I don’t eat carbs I get physically sick. I have to eat something from every food “group” everyday. I try to eat less but then I’m hungry and I eat unhealthy. I don’t eat candy but I haven’t seen that helping with the weight. I will continue with not eating candy though because I feel better without it.

Swedish pancakes with jam and whipped cream. Very “good” when you want to loose weight.

I try and that’s all you can do. My belly is where almost all the fat gather. I have well trained legs and arms and then this chunk of fat on my belly. I do abs exercises everytime I exercise and I think the belly is getting stronger. I’m frustrated because I want the belly to shrink faster than it does. I will keep up with the abs exercise until I see some change.

Exercising

I am doing all I can to get rid of my enormous belly. I know many of you probably think that my belly isn’t big but to me it is. When I was younger I never did any ab workouts because there was nothing to work on. Now I’ve been doing ab workouts with every arm and leg workout however I am not seeing that much of a change. I mean I’m doing a very extensive ab workout to get every part of my belly exercised. It’s lower and upper abs and more. I do an 17 minutes ab workout. I should have gotten further than I am.

The plank. Works your abs really hard.
This top hides my belly.
The jeans wants to break in every seem.

I feel my jeans going on a little smoother though. I know my legs have gotten bigger because of my exercise and that has something to do with my jeans getting too small. Before I had to pull them hard to get them on. I was afraid they would fall a part with every pull because I had to use all my strength to get them on. Even now I pull hard to get my jeans on but it doesn’t take that long anymore. It’s not a big change but I could have lost belly fat even though I don’t see any change. I compare my jeans to sausage “skin”. They are filled to the absolute max. I’m waiting for the day they won’t fit anymore. I have written this before and the fear of my jeans breaking when I’m in public isn’t gone. I’m happy every time I get home without any “breaking” incident happening. I have more jeans but they’re small too. Time to buy bigger I think.

The biggest change I’ve done when it comes to eating to loose weight is that I’ve stopped eating candy. I told you about it in “Sugar ban” where I wrote what I’ve done to ban candy from my life. It’s hard to do and I wrote that to possible help someone to also stop. I thought I never could do it but I did. I often ate candy to have something to do. I haven’t even touched any candy for a long time! I had to stop eating candy because it affected me and my body more than I thought it ever could. I’m not saying I will never eat candy again however now I’m not craving candy in any way.

These were my favorite things to buy.

From me and my jeans, we stay together until they break!

Getting bigger

I wrote in the post “Stuffed” that there’s no difference between my body and a sausage. We’re both ready to burst. Me from my clothes and the sausage from it’s “skin”. I’m still stuffed. It even seems my body keeps stuffing itself and getting bigger.

Sausages.

I exercise almost every day. The only thing I’ve noticed is that I’ve had to downsizing my bra’s. That’s one part of my body I don’t want to get smaller. The belly keeps growing even though I do ab exercises with every workout. I know it takes a while to slim down your belly however I want it smaller now. My arms and legs are strong and they’re bigger because I exercise them. I’m not looking “muscular” but I feel that they are strong. Especially my arms. That must be the easiest part of your body to train.

I’ve been thinking about something. I can’t almost get my jeans on. It’s a struggle every time. I try to pull them up but to get them over my belly is almost mission impossible. I pull and jump too and it takes forever to get them to fit. When I’m out doing things I just wait for them to burst. I can hardly sit down because I don’t know If they can take the weight of me sitting down. Not to mention when it’s time to stand up. I’m happy every time they don’t just break. Another thing I think about is when I go to the toilet somewhere else other than when I’m home. What If I can’t get them on again? What If they won’t fit my belly? If that happened what would I do. Run home? If I’m in the mall do I have to have a walk of shame to a clothing store and buy a new pair of jeans? Maybe I should buy bigger jeans so I don’t have to think about it. I never had these problems when I was younger.

Me a couple of days ago.
Me now. Stuffier than ever. (The clothes have been washed since the first picture). The jeans struggle to keep themselves together.

Stuffed

I have a question. What’s the difference between me and a sausage? None. We both look stuffed ready to burst. We have a surface and an inside that stretches it to the max.

My clothes are easier to get on since I began adding ab workout to my exercise routine however I’m not even near where I want to be. I don’t eat candy any more and I want it to make some difference. It takes a while for any changes in your behaviour to show and I will keep on doing what I do. You want to see changes immediately but when it comes to exercise it takes a while before you see any changes. Me not eating candy is something I’m proud of. I don’t know If it will help but it’s better to not eat candy than to do it.

Stuffed ready to burst.
The clothes hide what I don’t want anyone to see. My legs and arms are strong however the belly is a disgrace. My trousers holds the belly in but I feel that my clothes soon won’t be able to hide it because they can’t take the weight and will burst open. I don’t blame anyone for thinking I’m pregnant. It looks that way.

I have been skinny almost all my life however with age it gets harder to stay that way. I have to think more about what I do and eat. I love food and I don’t want to take the pleasure of eating away but I have to think about what I put in my body. I try to think more healthy when it comes to food.

Slimming

I am addicted to exercise. I’m addicted to train everything but my abs. I think I have never felt stronger than now but my abs……….They’re a disgrace. I have felt my belly getting bigger but I thought it was muscles. I have never prioritize the abs. I have thought they got enough exercise while I was training the rest of my body. When I gain weight it’s only my belly that gets bigger. I’ve had a slim belly for a long time now but now it’s getting crazy. I eat a lot but I have never had a problem with that before. Every part except my belly can take lots of food and not show any signs of putting on weight.

Happy to have done my workout thinking all of me got trained.

I must do abs exercises with every workout from now on. I find I’m feeling better when I weigh a little more than I should but I don’t want a belly that’s too big. I could eat less but my body craves lots of food especially when I’m exercising this hard (except my belly then). I took pictures today and I’ll give you a warning they’re not pretty. My belly is big and it’s hanging both in the front and on the sides. I took the pictures to compare them with my belly when I’ve done ab exercises.

I want to feel this happy with every part of my body.

I’ve had troubles with putting my socks on and that shows how much my belly is in the way. I can’t help but wonder how my belly can get fat when the rest of my body gets muscles. I thought I was slim but I’m not. I feel bad showing you my belly but I want you to know how it looks now and when I’ve done some training. I’m ashamed.

Weight

I`ve lost lots of weight. I don`t mean that in a good way. I`ve been taking less and less of the anti depressant medicine and it shows. I lost my appetite early and it`s gone now. I have to force myself to eat which isn`t easy. Don`t get angry at me all you that are trying to loose weight. I hate being this thin.

I`ve begun eating snacks in the middle of the night. I have an appetite then and snacks are the easiest way to fill me up. It`s crazy but I`m happy I eat something. I get up in my underwear and eat everything that`s unhealthy. Not only snacks, cakes are fine too. I sit in the dark and stuff myself. I have done that sometimes before but now I do it every night.

Today I made a weight gainer dinner. Lots of pasta, butter and cream. I have to get calories where I can and that dinner was filled with it.

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I boiled fresh pasta and onion. I boiled the onion because I wanted it to be soft and not crunchy. The taste doesn`t disappear in the water but it gets milder.

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After the pasta was done I put it in the pan again. I added LOTS of butter. I also added tinned tomatoes and LOTS of cream. The whole thing cooked for a while.

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Delicious.