I`ve lost lots of weight. I don`t mean that in a good way. I`ve been taking less and less of the anti depressant medicine and it shows. I lost my appetite early and it`s gone now. I have to force myself to eat which isn`t easy. Don`t get angry at me all you that are trying to loose weight. I hate being this thin.

I`ve begun eating snacks in the middle of the night. I have an appetite then and snacks are the easiest way to fill me up. It`s crazy but I`m happy I eat something. I get up in my underwear and eat everything that`s unhealthy. Not only snacks, cakes are fine too. I sit in the dark and stuff myself. I have done that sometimes before but now I do it every night.

Today I made a weight gainer dinner. Lots of pasta, butter and cream. I have to get calories where I can and that dinner was filled with it.

I boiled fresh pasta and onion. I boiled the onion because I wanted it to be soft and not crunchy. The taste doesn`t disappear in the water but it gets milder.

After the pasta was done I put it in the pan again. I added LOTS of butter. I also added tinned tomatoes and LOTS of cream. The whole thing cooked for a while.

Delicious.